


I'm slipping into the deep end (I'm in over my head)

by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams



Series: Collaborations, Prompts and Requests [48]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 20:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9342515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams/pseuds/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams
Summary: Eren may be humanity’s last hope but Armin was his.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amaya6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amaya6/gifts).



> Prompt: an eremin fic where Armin is in great danger (titan wise), and Eren realizes then how much he loves him, saves him (or someone else saves him), and confesses later 
> 
> It's probably a lot more subtle than you wanted but I hope you like it!

Eren isn’t a stranger to Armin being in danger. Armin has always been softer, more delicate. Less athletic but of no less value because of it Armin was an easy target to both people and things that wished to harm him.

Even as a child Eren had known that Armin was to be protected--at the very least until he could protect himself. The world was a cruel place and it would chew Armin up and spit him back out in a heartbeat. Eren knew it, Mikasa knew it, and Armin in all his intelligence certainly knew it as well. Eren saw it in the desperate way Armin launched himself into training, staying up after hours and seeking out guidance from anyone that would help to better himself, spurred on by the innate fear of being left behind.

As the years had passed Armin’s perseverance had begun to pay off. Though still physically weaker than some of the others in the survey corps his genius’ mind was enough to think Armin out of most situations--situations that more often than not involved Eren as well.

As Eren bore witness to the hell around them he saw Armin bloom.

War pushed Armin hard. When his brain continued to save people that would otherwise be dead more and more turned to the blonde for guidance. Eren could see the way the heavy burden weighed down Armin’s shoulders; could see how weary he was when no one but Eren could see; could see the blame he placed on himself when another fell to hungry jaws despite his plans.

And still, Eren could not help but feel selfishly glad that Armin was stronger now, for it meant that it kept Armin safe. Eren watched proudly when Armin stood his own both on the battlefield and in matters of the brain. He matched Erwin in debates and kept up with the others beyond the walls. The days of having to save Armin were few and far in between but Eren was always there to catch the blonde when he fell--just as Armin was for him.

Somehow, that fact had always comforted Eren. That if they could not at least stay out of danger that they would both protect the other to the best of their ability.

Eren wasn’t ready for the day when that was no longer true.

* * *

 

Eren sits by Armin’s bedside as Armin had done for him so long ago when Eren had felt decades younger and had not even begun to face the horrors of the world, Annie’s betrayal fresh in his mind and a fever hot in his veins. Armin has done this countless times after that of course, but somehow that is the moment that stands out in Eren’s mind.

Eren can’t help but think of how scared Armin must of been, of how worried and how much he had been quietly hurting over the death Annie had caused--the death that had been caused in part due to his plan.

Eren does not have to imagine it because he feels it now.

The fear, the worry, the pain; Eren feels it like a blow to his chest. There is no betrayal here, no excuse for the fact that Armin had nearly fallen victim to a titan’s jaws and Eren _had not been there._

Eren can see it play out like the nightmare that it is when he closes his eyes, broken and fragmented but no less clear.

_Eren lands on a roof. There is a shout behind him and Eren turns, blades ready. His eyes search for the cause of alarm; his blood goes cold._

_A large hand; an unmoving body and Eren is too far, too far even as he races forwards._

_Words sharp as razors, cutting up through his throat. A hand lifts to a mouth, teeth ready to tear. It will be faster, it will help, it has too--_

Eren has never been more glad of Jean than he had been in that moment.

By the time Eren had reached the titan Jean had swept Armin up and out of danger, leaving Eren to slice through the back of a thick neck. Eren had barely felt the rage, too full of fear to do much else than race after Jean. Armin hadn’t been conscious, blood matted to his forehead. That had worried Eren enough. Head injuries were risky, if hit at the wrong angle sometimes there was no recovery.

Back to safety--a relative term, one that they didn’t really believe, not yet--Hanji had bandaged Armin’s head before telling Eren to give him time. The body needed to heal before Armin could return to the world of the living.

The joke had not been funny to Eren.

Armin was part of what little Eren had left in this world. Armin was important, worth far more than Eren’s life and Eren would do everything possible to keep him safe.

And yet he had failed.

Eren had felt the heavy weight of failure many times in the passing days and yet, somehow, he felt this failure heaviest of all.

Bowing his head, Eren pushed his hands into his eyes. “Please wake up,” he whispered to the empty room.

Nothing save Armin’s quiet breathing answered him.

* * *

 

Armin wakes up, of course he does. Eren had known he would and yet that does nothing to dull the sharp relief that takes his breath away when hazy blue eyes meet his own. Hanji tells them that Armin needs to take it easy for a few weeks. He is on bedrest with a limit on social interaction and things that require Armin’s brain to work more than normal. This means no books and Eren can see the way it makes Armin restless.

He does his best to keep Armin occupied, feeling lighter and lighter as color returns to Armin’s cheeks and his eyes clear. When Armin smiles at him Eren is struck with the heart wrenching thought that he had almost lost that. He had been so close to losing Armin. Too close.

Armin mattered too much to be dead. Eren had known this as children; he had known it when he had lept into a titan’s mouth to drag Armin out and Eren knew it now. Armin was important and yet, somehow, Eren didn’t think he’d realized quite how much until he’d been faced with the threat of Armin’s eyes never opening once again; until he had sat and watched his friend’s chest rise and fall knowing that it might change nothing.

Eren had never really cared to label what Armin was to him. When asked the only words Eren could come up with were ones like _important, precious, mine._

Eren may be humanity’s last hope but Armin was his.

Why else had he gotten this far? It had been Armin that had shown him the outside world. It had been Armin that had told him there was more to life than walls and pretend safety. Eren would not have gotten this far without Armin, that he knew as clearly as he knew he was a monster.

Eren sighed softly. Small strands of Armin’s hair waved under the gust of air and the other male looked up from where Armin had had his head tucked under Eren’s chin. “What is it?” Armin asked softly, the stars they’d been watching bouncing off of his eyes.

Eren shrugged, giving a half hearted smile. “Just thinking,” he said, lifting a hand to push hair back out of Armin’s eyes. The strands were getting long, beginning to brush his friend’s shoulders.

“About?” Armin’s voice was patient as it always was. The soft tone was starting to only surface around Eren, vanishing under the pressure Armin took on in their day to day lives.

“About how much you mean to me,” Eren said honestly. He’d been thinking about this far too much to feel embarrassed. Armin was his best friend, his family. They didn’t keep secrets. He traced the scar on Armin’s forehead. “I want to keep you safe.”

“I know you do,” Armin murmured. He did not take offense to the words, knowing Eren did not think of him incapable to take care of himself. Taking care of others was just how Eren showed that he cared. “I want to keep you safe too.”

Eren smiled. Somehow, the words were enough for now. He dipped his head to press a soft kiss to Armin’s mouth. The movement of his friend’s mouth against his own tasted of acceptance.

They would be alright, Eren thought, when they were leaning against one another once again and staring up at the stars. He would make sure of it.


End file.
